day dreaming

day dreaming about milky coffee and mountain views. looking out over a frosty lake. walking in the snow. spending time writing in a forest cottage. making dinner for friends. doing nothing else than reading books for an entire day.

on quiet time and vulnerability 

Lately, I’ve been feeling very quiet. I haven’t written much and I feel I haven’t spoken up about the things that matter to me. I know I need quiet time to recharge and I make sure I get enough of it. Yet, I’ve come to a point where I feel I’m loosing my voice instead of just ‘resting my instrument’. I’m trying to find that sweet spot, that balance between speaking up and slowing down.

Same thing goes for blogging. While I’ve been sharing my thoughts on a somewhat anonymous blog lately, I also longed for this space right here. The one where I shared stories of my everyday life. The one that feels so out in the open.

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week in review | a new project

There’s no time like the present, to start anything new. So to give this new blogging adventure a kick start and to sooth my documenting needs, I’m starting a new project called ‘week in review’. It’s inspired by Astrid’s weekly ‘life’ posts, to which I always look forward. I’ll be back shortly with the first post.

a glimpse of days ahead

a glimpse of days aheadIt has been so warm, for so long, that I kind of forgot what cold feels like. All of a sudden true autumn temperatures have arrived and we got a glimpse of what awaits us the coming months: grey and rainy and cold weather and long dark days.

I have to admit that I’m kinda loving it. Autumn has always been my favourite season, but this year it has been so long since the days were cold, it feels like an extra special treat to wear knits, to light candles and to come home to a warm house. What can I say, I’m just a sucker for cozy weather like this. <3

in hopes of clearing my mind

in hopes of clearing my mindA couple of months ago I started a new job. I work in healthcare again, just like I did a couple of years ago. And just like that, I find my daily life scattered with patterns that were present during previous years as a healthcare worker: exhaustion, bad eating habits, hardly any social life during the week, too much sleep, too little time spent on things that bring me joy, migraines and a mind full of work related thoughts every minute of the day.

Self care is the keyword here: I forget to take care of myself more easily when I’m taking care of others. Now, I’ve never been very good at self-care, but I have gotten better at it these past years. Which is why I was surprised to noticed that I was falling back into old habits so easily, now that my daily life consists of 9 to 5 workdays again.

Trying to get back into journaling was one attempt of self-care that I haven’t been successful at. Binch-watching series on Netflix however, did work out. But one cannot keep staring at screens all day long I guess.

Which is why I decided to take an online course. With which I hope to step out of this endless circle of work-sleep-work and into a place of more self care and a bit more fun. I reckon that even if I don’t feel like leaving the house, or when I’m just too tired to get off the couch, this will give me an opportunity to do something different other than just watching tv. I’m sure it will help clear my mind too, which in the end will probably get me to do other things again, even after a long day at work.

It’s the clearing-the-mind-stuff that I have the biggest issues with. My mind is not necessarily filled with the sad stories that I encounter at work on a daily basis, as it is with everything work related. I cannot find the off switch unless I occupy my mind with something else, and even then, at night in bed the thoughts return: ‘Did I do this, what did she say, what could I have done differently.’

Perhaps this tiny act of of self care will propel me forward and make me able to let go of work related thoughts more easily. If nothing else it will connect me with a few like-minded souls I’m sure, just what I was looking for.

why i started blogging again

why i started blogging againPart of the reason why I decided to come back to this blog -and not share any links (just yet) with anyone I know in real life*- is because that’s how I started out ten years ago.

If I remember correctly, that is also the time when I started journaling again. When I took better care of myself than I do now. Just the simple fact of writing down thoughts and sometimes getting feedback from like-minded people, was so very helpful and nourishing.

And there you have it: like-minded people. There was this small blogging community that formed. Most of the people I ‘met’ back then are still (digital) friends. We might not share a cup of coffee, a hometown or our nationality, but we do share similar views on life, which to me is most inspiring.

Blogging also has a way of digging up stories, ones that I might have forgotten about. Like I said in my previous post, a text editor works just fine for writing. It’s what I’m using to write this post right now. But I do like the idea of these words living in a pretty place, aside of my documents folder.

Just journaling feels a little too intimidating to me now, probably because that would be a place where I can share it ALL. I might not be ready to dig that deep just yet, but I am ready to share some stories with the world and have my words reside in a pretty online space again. And who knows what may come of it.

*unless of course they added this URL in some kind of feed reader…but alas.

inwards and onwards

inwards and onwardsWhen I look through the windows of our bedroom, it looks like a gorgeous sunny autumn afternoon. The kind you want to spend outside, basking in the sunbeams whilst they are still present. Today is not that kind of day for me. I crave being inside, being home curled up under a blanket and getting lost in the lives of others via Netflix.

I’ve felt this pull inwards for a while now. I remember days when this meant I got out my journal, or typed up a blog post, and tried to dig up that one feeling that was hiding in my subconscious, needing to get out and be heard.

I haven’t been very good at this, ever, but lately I can’t seem to put my finger on any lingering feeling. When I get out my journal, I fill the empty pages with quotes and doodles, not being able to muster up the energy (or courage) to fill the pages with my own words.

Then I remembered that there was a time when I had a blog. A blog where I explored and shared my thoughts, feelings and pieces of my daily life. Somehow rekindling this love for blogging seemed a less daunting task.

I’m pretty sure no one is reading this, I certainty haven’t told anyone (yet) about my return to this space. And at least for the time being, I won’t. I’m not writing here for an audience, but for myself. To me it just comes more easily to write on a computer as opposed to writing with pen on paper. And yes, any text editor will do I guess, but I like pretty things and so I like my words to live somewhere pretty as well.

And with this simple act of setting up a blog, and writing these first few sentences, I feel a shift, small as it might be. A sigh of relief that words are found and put to good use and perhaps in this way I will be able to dig deep enough to find the answers that my subconscious is looking for. For now though, Netflix will do.

copenhagen | day one

schiphol airport view

Every Christmas we travel to a different European city. Just to get away from it all. Not from Christmas mind you, I love Christmas, but we do like to get away from all the so called obligations. Just the two of us for a few days, walking around a new-to-us town, enjoying good food and yes, wine. Copenhagen wasn’t really new to me, I had visited it a year earlier as well, just not around Christmas time. I fell in love with the city and the people like I always do when visiting a Nordic country. How can you not?

copenhagen harbour

When we arrived on Christmas day, the whole city was covered in a tiny layer of snow. A white Christmas, just as it’s supposed to be. I remember it being very cold, but all the walking kept us warm and a few coffee breaks in between didn’t hurt either.

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